ENGLISH SIGNS

Some of these signs are displayed in Britain … and remember, if they cannot use proper English, who can?

Spotted in a toilet of a London office:

TOILET OUT OF ORDER, PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.

In a London Laundromat:

AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.

In a London department store:

BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In a London office:

AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a London secondhand shop:

WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING- BICYCLES, WASHINGMACHINES,ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in London health food shop window:

CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:

ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.

Seen during a London conference:

FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN’T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR.

Notice in a field:

THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

Message on a leaflet:

IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.

On a repair shop door:

WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR, THE BELL DOESN’T WORK.)

People in other countries sometimes go out of their way to communicate with their English speaking tourists. Here is a list of signs seen around the world.

At a Budapest zoo:

PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY FOOD,GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

Doctor’s office, Rome:

SPEACIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Hotel, Acapulco:

THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.

In a Nairobi restaurant:

CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE SHOULD SEE THE MANAGER

In a city restaurant:

OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS TOO.

In a cemetery:

PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.